My mother is a catholic, and my father doesn’t identify as being religious. I have never been christened, so I don’t fall into any category. My mother believes in God as she always apologises to the Lord for saying certain swear words. She also doesn’t eat meat on Good Friday.
There was a brief period when I wanted to be baptised, but nothing ever came of it. I want to say that I’m an atheist, but I had prayed to a higher power in times of need, such as when I had a severe 24-hour bug, and I wanted the stomach pain to stop or when I wanted some good luck in my life. I suppose we turn to God when we feel we have no control over something. It brings great comfort to us, knowing that we can count on this mysterious figure to help us. There is a question I have to ask myself. Do I believe in God, or do I believe in a higher power? I am likely to say the latter. When we first learn of God, we imagine him as this giant head somewhere above us.
I have to admit that my image of God comes from the film ‘Time Bandits’, directed by Terry Gilliam. It was one of my father’s childhood favourites, so he passed it down and showed me the film. We used to have a caravan in Wales, and on our journey, he would give me his laptop to watch it on. Good and Evil are the critical concepts of the film, which I find fascinating. While I may not believe in God specifically, I do believe in heaven and hell.
I have always been conscious that I will go to hell if I do bad things. In my life, I have always tried to do things by the book and ultimately do the right thing. However, I’m not perfect. I have done some things that would be considered disagreeable. While I class myself as an atheist, I am very spiritual. I use crystals for healing and other such items. This brings us back to the concept of a higher power that isn’t necessarily God.
If God is real, then perhaps it isn’t a singular person. God could be an anagram for something that encompasses us all. Can you imagine being the only boss of billions of people? It would be an impossible nightmare! God is supposed to be all-knowing, all-seeing, and all-powerful, but as many have questioned, why does he let bad things happen? Maybe it’s a bit like Doctor Who, where he can’t rewrite history because it will fracture time and space. If that is the case, then it would mean life is mapped out for us.
This line of thinking opens up the possibility of fate and destiny. I am a firm believer in both of these things. I believe that we are meant to meet certain people, but if those relationships end in tragedy, I don’t think it was supposed to happen. It doesn’t make logical sense for something devastating to translate as a good thing. Religion is an intense practice. If you are a devout Christian or Catholic, then by preaching the word of God, you believe you are saving people from sin.
People often ask why certain religious people try to convert you, and I always tell them that it’s because they see our way of life as incorrect. They think we are missing something. Religion has caused wars, violence and death. This unusual concept drives some people to do awful things, convincing themselves that God would want that. Religious people seem to get caught between good and evil. They cause more harm by instilling their vision of good into what they deem a sinning society. Little do they know that they are infecting ordinary people with more evil.
However, they don’t see it that way. Now, I should clarify that not every religious person does this, but enough do to cause me to bring it up. The Bible is essentially a blueprint of how humans should live. In the modern-day, we are beginning to stray farther and farther from what The Bible tells us. While I may not believe, I can say that religion brings both danger and enlightenment to society. Many people find solace and comfort in their faith, but others seek to harm as a way of saving humanity.
In conclusion, I don’t know if we will ever find out what God means. I have always had this image of our world is in a snowglobe that aliens observe. We will most likely continue to write about our idea of religion until the end of time. If I ascend the stairway to heaven, I can’t tell any of you, but maybe I might meet you there.
“Is man merely a mistake of God’s? Or God merely a mistake of man?” — Friedrich Nietzsche