Diary Entry/17.01.22

Every few months, I wonder if I’m a blowfish whose bursts of inflation go unnoticed by the other fish, but the sea is capable of shining. It can be challenging to exist among other writers. Sometimes, you feel left out. If you want to take a deep psychological dive into the reasons why I want to feel appreciated and that I have a talent, then go right ahead, but you won’t find any answers. Call me dramatic, but I don’t believe I will ever feel enough as an artist, as a writer. I know deep in my heart that I create thoughtful and intelligent pieces, but I want to be great. I want my name to be on the tip of everyone’s tongue, just waiting to roll off. To be a fat girl in a society with only room for conventionally attractive/thin people is hard enough, but attempting greatness in a writer’s world is a daunting task.

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